Obamakale

I think I picked a pretty decent time to start this up again. I've been missing out on my political snarkiness, ever since the 2012 presidential debates ended. And considering that I've just made up with the heaps of relatives I offended during those times, I figured that I should get back on my internet soap box - so to speak. Luckily for me, Congress seemed to be missing out on my shenanigans as well and decided to make my job SUPER easy. Also since I'm working on the whole adult thing, I figured I'd add in a cooking aspect to this whole writing business. (But actually I ran out of mac and cheese so I had to make something else for dinner.)

So what's the recipe today?

1 Large Sweet Potato
1 cup Quinoa
1 cup Kale
2 tablespoons Butter
Salt to taste
1 Government Shutdown

I consider this my "easy healthy meal." It's pretty much as close as I can get to doing nothing and still getting my nutrition for the evening. I mean I suppose I could make it a bit easier and refuse to pass a budget for my groceries and shut down all non-essential dinner-making activities, but I just started majoring in political science. I haven't learned all the tricks of the trade quite yet.

Basically all you do is HEAT ALL THE THINGS until they are cooked and then put some butter and salt on them. I'm not kidding when I say this is an easy meal. If Obamacare really does make the world explode like certain House Republicans have been predicting, trust that this is gonna fuel me through the zombie apocalypse that is sure to occur. That and my pure, unadulterated rage that Congress is allowed to do the opposite of their jobs and get paid, while more than 800,000 federal workers have been furloughed. But let's get to the food.

Step numero uno: Mix one cup of quinoa with two cups water in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil and remember to turn on that fan thing over your stove so the smoke alarm doesn't go off. Once the water has boiled, cover, and reduce heat to a low simmer. Also make sure you washed your hands before the start of all this - 68% of the Centers for Disease Control is on furlough. 

Step two: While the quinoa is simmering, place your sweet potato in a microwavable container. Fill the container with a splash of water and then stab the potato a couple times so it doesn't explode or whatever bad things happen when you don't follow directions. Depending on the strength of your microwave, heat the potato for 3-4 minutes on high. When done, take it out, flip it over, remember that not only did Congress fail on passing a continuing resolution, but House GOP's also failed to pass measures to fund veterans programs, national parks and DC government during aforementioned shutdown, and then microwave for an additional three minutes.

Step three: CHECK ON THE QUINOA. If you can see the white of the germ outside of the grain or the water is completely absorbed, then you're golden. If not, chill out for a couple more minutes. If your sweet potato is all cooked up, move on to the kale. This is easy. 1/4 cup water, handful of kale, microwave on high in a covered container for three minutes. Uncover, stir, microwave for two more minutes, or until tender.

Step four: LOOK AT YOU YOU COOKED SOME THINGS. Good on you, kiddo. Once everything is hot and yummy, add some salt and butter, or whatever seasonings, until you mask the fact that what you're eating is pretty healthy. And together, all three items make up a pretty balanced meal. It's not unlike the three legs that Obamacare stands on. The regulations provide strength for the law (sweet potato yo!), the individual mandates are kinda like eating your vegetables (cause we can't cause the health insurance companies to go into a debt spiral, no matter how much we want to), and the subsidies are totally the quinoa. Like, obviously.

Now go eat that good food, and be grateful you don't rely on the Special Supplemental Nutritional Program for Women, Infants, and Children, because that program is, you guessed it, SHUT DOWN.